Nerves and fear

I always get the queasy stomach just before some important event.  If it’s something new that I’ve never done or whether it’s a stressful situation that I’ve been in before doesn’t seem to matter.  It gets specially bad when it’s something important to me personally.

I can’t even stand to think of food let alone eat, my stomach gets tied in knots and I start to think of every bad thing that could possibly go wrong.

But when the event starts then I smooth out.  I can think again, I can act.  I have too many things to do to get nervous.

And that is all that it is after all.  Nerves.

I notice that whatever it is, isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  Even if it is as bad as I think it’s going to be the anticipation is gone, the unknown factor vanishes and I am suddenly free again to act and react rather than wait.

I keep telling myself that but it doesn’t matter I still get the nerves.  So I plan ahead, I make preparations way ahead of time so that I won’t miss any important detail before the fear gets me.  I can then “enjoy” the nervousness without adding the fear that I have missed something due to this.

What a way to live.