Unsolicitations

“Hello, this is your last notice.  We have been trying to reach you about lowering your interest rates on your credit cards.  Press 1 to listen how you can lower your interest rates” – Automated telemarketing call

I get about 2 or 3 of these a month.  Some have options to get off the phone list.  Most don’t.  Once they have your number they will usually nag at you for months.  Trying to talk to an operator is usually fruitless as the “operators” are just sales people trying to get new business in the door.  If you’re really unlucky they’re scam artists trying to get your credit information.

I usually hang up on these but sometimes I answer and give the sales rep a memorable call.

Operator:  “Hello, you pressed 1 and indicated you wanted to lower your interes…”

Me:  “Mom, is that you mom?  When are you coming home?”

<click>

Operator:  “Hello, you pressed 1 and indicated you wanted to lower your interes…”

Me: “you give credit card now? Please yes?

operator: “sir we are not offering a credit card we are offering to lower your…”

Me: “I want much credit now, very muchly.  yes , thank you”

<click>

Operator:  “Hello, you pressed 1 and indicated you wanted to lower your interes…”

Me: “mamej ghuS DeQ wabmey toy’wI”a’ jatlh HInob..”

(which is Klingon and roughly translates to “give me much lower credit terms, speaking slave (I don’t think that Klingons have telemarketers)”.  I will be embarrassed beyond measure if I ever run into a Klingon speaking operator)

<click>

Of course it’s not all fun and games.  Last year I had a call for my dad.  They asked for my dad by his full name including middle initial so I knew that it wasn’t anyone that he knew.  I played along and found that they pretended to be a credit monitoring agency and wanted his bank account number, his social security number, and birth date.  I replied as my dad and said “I don’t have those with me but if you will give me your phone number I will call you back.”

Someone in the background realized that I was trying to trace them and yelled at the operator “Get off the phone! get off the phone!”

<click>