Azalea time in Houston. Late March 2014
I don’t know why humans react to flowers. Maybe it’s some sort of deeply ingrained evolutionary tendency that somehow promotes survival? Who knows. But along with things like art or music they seem to enhance life much in the way that relationships do.
I used to have more time for gardening. Relaxing in its own way. Gardening is not difficult and the results can be fairly predictable. Plants are simple souls and their needs aren’t that complicated; food, water, light, and air. Just the things needed for life. Some people over-complicate matters and think that you need to sit around measuring exact quantities of fertilizer or use mist sprayers to water some plants. Foolishness. Nature has been taking care of these needs long before we came around and plants did just fine without all this fuss.
The one thing that they do require that I don’t have much of these days is time.
Some plants of course need more time and effort than others. Lawns are vast and green and other than the occasional fertilizing and watering in the Summer, they will do nicely on their own.
A Texas Live Oak that reigns supreme over my back yard.
Trees will pretty much look after themselves. At times they may need a pruning but more often than not they’re the ones taking care of us by providing shelter from storms and cover from the hot summer Sun.
Flowers are where it gets more involved. If you expect them to bloom and give you the show that you want each Spring and Summer then you have to put in the extra time. They need more water and food and weeding. Really, it boils down to just more attention. Of course you have those hardy perennials out there that do well in any circumstance but the one’s that put on the really bright blooms and best colors, those you have to spend more time with.
Relationships are a lot like plants. If you look at your life you will see a vast green carpet of acquaintances. People at work, at the market, from the gym, the internet, or wherever. They just need a friendly “hello” from time to time and they’re happy. They take care of themselves.
You have your trees, or your family but more specifically your parents. They have towered over you and protected you since you can remember and just like trees they seem to be permanent. For the most part they have no need for special tending and they stand by you no matter what.
But then you come to the flowers in your life. You have the hardy perennials that will continue to bloom no matter what nature throws at them or how little you tend them. They are your stalwart friends and will be there for you even if you’re not there for them. Not the prettiest but the most reliable.
Although more dowdy than other flowers, this Gerber Daisy has survived droughts, floods, and freezes and continues to bloom no matter what. Yet it asks very little in return.
And of course you have your other flowers that do need your constant care. Unlike perennials they will wither and die without you there. They bloom due to the attention that you pay to them. That’s what they need from you. You may complain that they take up too much of your time but when they do bloom it’s well worth it. That is the reciprocal nature of the relationship in exchange for your attention they return attention, care, and love back to you.
The people you want close to you in life need that extra attention, they deserve it. I mean if the point is to create, preserve and even extend a permanent bond then care and attention must be paid. No shortcuts are possible.
I suppose all I can tell you is that relationships are like flowers or teeth. You only need to take care of the one’s you want to keep.
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