strength

I’m told that I put too much stock into movies.  Well, that’s just me.  I don’t take in all my information through the written word.  A good-sized chunk of the information that I take in comes through visually.  That’s one reason I take in little bits of movies here and there and save them to chew over later.

I had a long night working the other night and got to bed round midnight.  One of a series of long nights that I’ve had working on the job, on side projects, on writing, on my fitness goals, on life in general in the past six months.  As always I didn’t get half of what I wanted done and I felt eternally behind schedule.

I needed to wind down a bit.  Let the brain disconnect from everything that had filled my head.  I didn’t want to get caught up in a book and stay up all night long and I was sick of being online, so I flicked on the TV and surfed round till I came upon the movie “Men in Black“.  At that point the movie was on a short but fairly memorable (memorable to me at least) scene, where a younger character is being recruited by an older character to join the team:

J – ” Hey, Is it worth it?”

K – ” Oh yeah, it’s worth it…. If you’re strong enough.”

If you’re strong enough.

Was I just trying to make sense of my situation or was this synchronicity trying to make me come to terms with my life as of late.  If you’re strong enough.  Actually that’s a fairly accurate description of life isn’t it?

“The adventure that you get is the one that you’re ready for” is a phrase I once heard.  Campbell I think.

The reason why some people can casually stroll into a situation, command it, and thrive while others are flustered, barely thread water, and eventually sink under the weight of it all.

I’ve been stretching out in so many directions in the last year or so.  Maybe more than I ever have in my life.  I’ve been doing things that I never dreamed or even considered that I would or could do.  Some of it has been nerve-wracking to say the least, some of it has been a pleasant surprise and made me wonder why I hadn’t done it before.

But it has been a strain at times.  Even on days when everything’s going my way I wonder if I will have time to do it all and on days when things aren’t going my way….

I could easily just stop many of these projects.  Just call it off and go back to letting life happen to me as it will.  The thing is though that I wouldn’t want to go back to that.  I in fact want to go faster.  I’ve held off on my life for so long that I feel that I want to make up for lost time.  Not really possible as I have some limitations to face.  But I keep trying, keep looking, keep seeing how I can accelerate my life to that point that I want to be at.

The adventure that you’re ready for.  Maybe my life has been slowly grooming and preparing me to reach this point.  Whether as a function of fate or as a function of my life experience I don’t know.  Whatever the case may be I have to embrace it wholly and see where this leads me.