One of those Facebook posts that seems to circulate all over your news feed really hit home today. It was titled “The after myth“. The post was an essay about a fat person who took the time and did the work to lose a lot of weight and succeeded but a few years after her success realized that there is no after, there is just the now.
I’ve been on my health kick for the last four years now. Begun as a necessity to restore my health. Starting slowly, having several missteps and finally starting to see results in the last year. I mean really big tangible results. The type where the guy in the commercial holds up his giant pants and steps from behind them to reveal his “new” skinnier version.
No matter how you do it (whether it’s exercise, diet, stomach staples, whatever) these ads gloss over the time, the struggle, the long hours which stretch into days and then weeks, months, and years. The process gets lost to get to the point on the TV screen.
It’s gratifying seeing people who I haven’t seen for a long time and having them tell me how much better I look now that I’ve lost the weight but I find it puzzling. Before the weight or after the weight, it’s still me.
I’m still the same person regardless of the weight and I found that this essay was right on the mark. For me there is no “after”. I have to keep to this lifestyle from now on.
Back in March I had to deal with the flu that was going round Houston. First I had to take care of a couple of people who got sick for a couple of weeks and then I got sidelined by it as well. My exercise routine went to hell and I began to pile on some weight. Maybe it was not noticeable to anyone else but it was to me. Just proved it to me that I don’t have a magical goal number to reach. This is my life now.
My metabolism has slowed over time. It was never very high but now it’s slowing down as I age. I need to keep working out. I need to watch my diet, I need to keep the process going.
I am still the same person that I was at 288 pounds that I am now at 181 pounds. I am just more aware and more conscious about the type of life I live and the consequences of my actions or in-actions.
I’m not defined by the number on a weight scale. No one is, or at least no one should be. I hope that I am defined by my actions and thoughts. Hopefully those actions and thoughts will lead me to a healthier and happier life.
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