Author Archives: Admin

What’s really attractive

April 28, 2015 6:26 AM , Leave a Comment ,

One of the nice things about getting older, at least for me, is that looks begin to lose their allure.  Don’t get me wrong, a pretty face, a trim figure, beautiful eyes.  I will always appreciate those.  But over the years I’ve learned that there is a lot more to appreciate about a person than their looks and that good looks may not necessarily go hand in hand with a bright mind, an interesting persona, an appealing attitude, or any of a thousand other things that I find appealing in a person.

So what is attractive?  Mind you I don’t claim to speak for anyone else but myself but I think my attitude is fairly typical within reason.

So some attractive characteristics in no particular order.

Intelligence. I would think that this would be so obvious it didn’t need to be mentioned but apparently it does.  It’s something you can’t find out about until you actually talk to that other person but it can soon become obvious.  The ability to think, to reason, to be more than just well read but to be able to form opinions or new thoughts.  I tend to value these abilities fairly highly.  I think it makes for a stronger and more satisfying long-term relationship.

An open mind.  Related to the above I know but I think it’s important to be able to openly talk about different cultures, different points of view, different perspectives, even things that you may not like, art forms you may not appreciate, ideas that repulse you.  I’m not saying embrace them but be able to look at them objectively and then if they don’t like it well then fine. At least the attempt was made.  But being able to communicate openly with the other person is vital.

Outside interests and hobbies.  I want a whole person that has their own life and own interests not someone that’s just waiting for me to supply their reason for being.  Whatever those interests may be; sports, business, hobbies, music, whatever.  This is part of their whole being and if they practice and enjoy these interests then I think that makes them that much more interesting.

Convictions.  Believing in something and sticking to those principles.  A truly admirable quality that not many people can claim for themselves.

Humor.  A must not only for a potential mate but for friends in general.  Being able to laugh not just at the world in general but at yourself is something that more people should engage in regularly.

Adventurous. Be able to take a chance every once in a while.  Life’s just too short for playing it safe.  I don’t mean be reckless but definitely not looking for someone who stays home and plays it safe.

Not a comprehensive list by any means but I think it covers the highlights.  I know finding all of these qualities in one person is asking a lot.  Maybe too much.  But I don’t think so.  I mean this is an important choice.  Not like a haircut that will grow out in a couple of months or a pair of pants that you thought might look good.  This is someone who I want to spend my time with.  It should be something that I should be picky about.

 

Posted in: dating, life in general, relationships, thought

Jesus Christ Superstar – Play review

April 26, 2015 6:39 AM , Leave a Comment ,

I discovered Bayou City Theatrics (BCY) this year and have been pleasantly surprised by the level of professionalism of this young, tiny, but extremely talented theater company.

BCY is located in downtown Houston on Capital street just around the corner from the Flying Saucer pub.  You can in fact hear the patrons next door if it’s a particularly raucous night.  The playhouse is tiny, maybe 70 seats in total and the stage is small.  But don’t any of these factors dissuade you.  This troupe of performers is well worth going to see.  BCY mainly focuses on Broadway musicals.  So far I’ve caught two plays and they were both well worth it.

I recently caught the musical “Jesus Christ Superstar”, a musical dealing with the last days of Christ and his relationship with his apostles and in particular with Mary and Judas.

BCY gives the play a contemporary flavor.  The actors are all dressed in modern street clothes and the sets resemble inner city settings rather than ancient Jerusalem.

The play begins with Judas shooting up and rather worried about the growing popularity of Jesus and how Jesus is not using his fame to do more for the poor.  He also worries that the Romans will crackdown on Jesus and his apostles if they are not careful.

The other apostles and Mary argue that everything will be fine and that Jesus should not worry.  Judas chides Jesus for not doing enough to help the poor but Jesus counters that he by himself cannot help out everyone.

Meanwhile the high priests, led by Caiphas and Annas, decide that Jesus is becoming a threat to them and that he may bring down the wrath of the Romans on them.  So for the good of everyone Jesus must die.

Judas becomes jealous of Mary’s relationship with Jesus and goes to Caiphas.  He convinces himself that betraying Jesus will be for the greater good and promises Caiphas to betray Jesus.  Annas offers Judas money for the betrayal and tells him he can donate the money to the poor.

At the last supper Jesus seems to know that the end is near and tells his apostles that soon things will go wrong and that they will deny knowing him. He teaches the apostles to eat and drink to remember him and as they all fall asleep he goes out to the gardens to pray where Judas is waiting for him.

Judas kisses Jesus and betrays him.  Jesus is arrested and taken to trial.  He is repeatedly asked if he is the son of God but only replies “That’s what you say”.  He is taken to Pontius Pilate, the roman governor, and gives the same answer.  Pilate begs Jesus to recant but Jesus won’t.  Finally Pilate is forced to condemn Jesus.

Judas in the meantime realizes the horrible mistake he has made and is overcome with remorse.  He wails in horror and finally hangs himself.  Mary and Annas pass by and discover Judas and run off horrified.

As Jesus is being crucified the spirit or ghost of Judas comes to Jesus and mocks him asking him if this is really what he wanted all along.  Jesus does not answer.  In the finale the apostles and Mary all lament his passing and tell how he has affected them all.

BCY makes very good use of their performers and their small stage.  Although narrow it is a deep stage and the scenery work is very well laid out.  This allows the audience to get the experience of seeing a much larger stage.  As I said before the cast is dressed in contemporary clothes and the theme is somewhat urban.  The players look like they might be modern street people.  I think this works very well in helping the audience connect to the material.

The idea is to relate how much of a celebrity Jesus was in his own time and how much of an effect he had on Jerusalem society that he was perceived as a threat by the ruling classes.  I think this makes the material much more relatable to today’s audience.

Overall I am enjoying the work that BCY is putting out and look forward to the rest of their season.  I would highly recommend catching a performance at this venue.

 

Posted in: review, theater

it’s never over

April 24, 2015 7:07 AM , Leave a Comment ,

One of those Facebook posts that seems to circulate all over your news feed really hit home today.  It was titled “The after myth“.  The post was an essay about a fat person who took the time and did the work to lose a lot of weight and succeeded but a few years after her success realized that there is no after, there is just the now.

I’ve been on my health kick for the last four years now.  Begun as a necessity to restore my health.  Starting slowly, having several missteps and finally starting to see results in the last year.  I mean really big tangible results.  The type where the guy in the commercial holds up his giant pants and steps from behind them to reveal his “new” skinnier version.

No matter how you do it (whether it’s exercise, diet, stomach staples, whatever) these ads gloss over the time, the struggle, the long hours which stretch into days and then weeks, months, and years.  The process gets lost to get to the point on the TV screen.

It’s gratifying seeing people who I haven’t seen for a long time and having them tell me how much better I look now that I’ve lost the weight but I find it puzzling. Before the weight or after the weight, it’s still me.

I’m still the same person regardless of the weight and I found that this essay was right on the mark.  For me there is no “after”.  I have to keep to this lifestyle from now on.

Back in March I had to deal with the flu that was going round Houston.  First I had to take care of a couple of people who got sick for a couple of weeks and then I got sidelined by it as well.  My exercise routine went to hell and I began to pile on some weight.  Maybe it was not noticeable to anyone else but it was to me.  Just proved it to me that I don’t have a magical goal number to reach.  This is my life now.

My metabolism has slowed over time.  It was never very high but now it’s slowing down as I age.  I need to keep working out. I need to watch my diet, I need to keep the process going.

I am still the same person that I was at 288 pounds that I am now at 181 pounds.  I am just more aware and more conscious about the type of life I live and the consequences of my actions or in-actions.

I’m not defined by the number on a weight scale.  No one is, or at least no one should be.  I hope that I am defined by my actions and thoughts.  Hopefully those actions and thoughts will lead me to a healthier and happier life.

Posted in: activities, aging, diet, exercise, goals, health, life in general

fans

April 22, 2015 6:05 AM , 2 Comments ,

The Star Wars trailer came out the other day. Don’t know if it will be a good movie or not but the initial signs are positive.  Movie trailers are not a huge event to most people but to devotees of the series, it was highly anticipated.

Nowadays trailers usually come out on YouTube and people on YouTube will film what’s called reaction videos.  Basically videos of their initial and genuine reaction to the trailer.  I could waste hours watching these. I find it somewhat fascinating to watch these. I was also shocked that so many people made these videos already.

I like watching not only the reactions but in particular I also like to note the diversity of the fan base.  Not all Star Wars fans are pasty skinned, fat, glass wearing nerds.  The phenomena that is the Star Wars series runs the gamut through all races, genders, and economic backgrounds and is worldwide.

It’s somewhat difficult to explain the appeal of this series.  I mean it’s one thing to say that it all has to do with cool special effects and space movies and fighting but I feel that there must be more here.  These are a series of movies that people have memorized all the lines and regularly quote these lines to one another during conversations.  I don’t mean that they quote just memorable lines but they will quite literally quote each and every line to one another no matter how innocuous  the line.

I don’t think that happens with any other series, even with venerated series like Star Trek.  Something about the themes, the ideas behind the story reaches out and touches individuals no matter what their background or situation.  They can relate to a character in the story, they can relate to the feeling of struggling against a system that feels oppressive, they can relate something of their own particular situation to what they see up on the screen.

Something else I noted watching all these reaction videos was the number of female fans that posted reaction videos.  Nerd and science fiction culture has had to take a long and hard look at itself with regards to the ingrained discrimination towards female fans this last year.  It has been a painful but most necessary process.  We who have proclaimed ourselves to be the oppressed underdogs fighting against a system that discriminates against us.  We have been guilty of the same sort of oppression against female fans.  A lot of the old guard nerds have asserted that female fans are not as passionate about science fiction or that they just “don’t get it”.  I think this puts that argument to rest.

Just one more to make the point.

 

 

Posted in: culture, entertainment, fans, life in general, movies, pop culture, thought

plans vs pipe dreams: Knowing the difference and leveraging them anyways

April 20, 2015 6:39 AM , Leave a Comment ,

Just as we also have carefully thought out plans, we also have pipe dreams.

We all have those wild and crazy ideas that would be nice to achieve but we “know” just won’t ever work.  These are ideals that we may dream about at bed time or just after lunch one day.  You can think and even see them but the rational part of your mind knows that they’re impossible so it discounts them as just impractical fantasies and generally forgets about them.

On the flip side we have those carefully worked out plans that we think and re-think all the time and we “test out” and know will work because we’ve put in the time to manage expectations and to make sure they can be implemented before anything happens.  We work and live through these every day.

Obviously, it’s bad to get hung up on a pipe dream and obsess over it to the point that you can’t function.  Unfortunately I see this type of behavior too much among some of my peers.  Obsessing about some material item, over some sort of achievement, over some love that got away from them.  Many people chase these unattainable goals to the point that they disregard some or all other important aspects of their lives.

On the other hand it’s equally as bad to just live out a carefully scripted and planned life.  If you only live a planned out existence you may find that opportunities that suddenly appear and offer themselves to you will be ignored or denied because they don’t fit in with your current plans.  You may find that you deny yourself an advantage or may find that your original plan may actual be detrimental to you just because it didn’t fit in.

I think most people can tell what a plan looks like.  A pipe dream is more difficult.  We can often fool ourselves into thinking an outlandish pipe dream is really a reasonable plan.  If we sit down however and look at it carefully and analyze it bit by bit we can often see the faults in the “reasonable plan” and see it for what it really is.

But like I said above, living only a planned life can be equally bad for you.  So how can we live a balanced life where we keep our hopes and dreams alive but allow our plans to carry us ahead?  We have to strike a balance.  Live the daily life within our plans but always keep those pipe dreams at hand.  Don’t totally deny them or discount them.

Even if you do chase after your pipe dream and ultimately fail, the journey, the process of trying to achieve that pipe dream may yield unexpected benefits, may open up new vistas and worlds that you didn’t previously know about.

Pipe dreams are sometimes the only things that can keep us moving forward when things are tough.  Learn to control them, learn to tame them.  But never let them die.

Posted in: advice, goals, life in general, motivation, opportunities, plans, thought

between worlds

April 18, 2015 6:19 AM , Leave a Comment ,

Big western cities like Houston give people lots of room to develop themselves and their lives into what they want them to be.  I guess that’s part of the allure of what is sometimes referred to as the “american dream”.

I mean you can go from one part of Houston and suddenly find yourself in a totally different situation to what you were in five minutes earlier.  I have friends and acquaintances all over the Houston area from the big ex-burbs like Katy, Sugarland, and the Woodlands and of course friends inside the city limits proper.  They all swear that their part of Houston is the best and can’t imagine how people can live in other parts of town. People can find the part of town that best suits them and live the type of life that they want.

But beyond just mere geography there lies another type of life that we can lead.  The individual interests, the pass times, the hobbies.  Whatever you want to call them.  I find it amazing how wrapped up and how into these things people can get.  People can get so into these things that they barely notice that there are other worlds out there.

I tend to drift between a variety of different worlds and different groups so I’ve had the opportunity to observe these various sub-cultures interact and express themselves in their own natural surroundings.

Some examples?

Back in January I was at a big art gallery party held in what used to be a factory.  Crowded from top to bottom with well dressed people, loud music, food and drink.  Models, artists, and local luminaries all hobnobbing the evening away.  Lots of back slapping and hearty handshakes as people got re-acquainted or met new friends and contacts.

In the Fall and Winter I go to book readings downtown.  A local group invites notable authors and they come to Houston to read from their latest books.  Sometimes it’s a well-known personality, sometimes a barely known author.  I can already recognize some of the audience members as regulars and I get the sense that this is a group that has a long history.

A couple of weeks ago I was at an anime convention at the George R Brown.  Kids and adults all dressed up in costumes and walking nonchalantly around.  Nobody really giving them a second thought.  Most of the vendors, staff, and speakers at these events travel on a convention circuit and see each other all the time.

A few months ago I was at a boxing match. Now, my idea of boxing matches were moodily lit events with maybe a couple dozen guys around a ring in some grungy gym.  But this was a large hall with thousands of people and valet parking.  Very well-organized and looking around I got the sense that a lot of these people came to these fights regularly and knew one another.

The two things I noticed in all four of these situations was:

1.  A real sense of community within these groups.  They were fully developed sub-cultures.  Individuals in these groups were totally comfortable within these situations.

2. I am fairly certain that if I asked individuals within these sub-cultures about the other sub-cultures that they would either not know anything about those groups or almost nothing about them.

This leads back to my observation of how this large city allows people to find and express themselves in their own part of the city and lead the type of life that they want to lead.  I find it fascinating to travel from one to another.

Posted in: activities, culture, Houston, life in general

Being an adult

April 16, 2015 6:51 AM , Leave a Comment ,

Two of the hallmarks of being an adult.  Taxes and signing papers.  I did both this week.

The former of course comes around every year and can’t be avoided.  At least no one has come up with a plausible way yet.  With a primal regularity I’ve been going through the process since I was 17 and I expect to have to do this around 50 more times before I’m done.

The latter involved reading and signing a bunch of papers to first transfer ownership of my old car as part of a trade in deal and then of course paying for my new car.  I don’t quite remember how many papers I had to sign for my first car but I’m sure it wasn’t this many.

Neither of these was a glamorous and in fact they were rather monotonous events but I find that a good portion of being an adult really involves just getting on with taking charge of all the little niggling details of life.  Kids usually go on and on about how cool things will be when they’re adults but really they don’t realize what it takes to keep things going as an adult.

One of my pet peeves involves being at a party or a gathering with an artist or a speaker or someone who has just done something impressive and someone complimenting that person by saying “I want to be you when I’m an adult”.  Firstly because the person usually saying is an adult but mostly cause this really misses the mark of what it is to be an adult.

Being an adult mainly involves accepting responsibilities, putting up and keeping up with a lot of tiny but important details, and just managing to outlast life when things get tough.

Sure there are lots of cool things you can do when you’re an adult.  But if you want to do those cool things it usually means you have to do many other things you would rather not do.  It means not just grudgingly but almost gladly accepting that these details are at the heart of what it means to be an adult.

Being an adult means responsibility.

Posted in: aging, life in general, thought

time enough

April 14, 2015 6:34 AM , Leave a Comment ,

Writing is an activity that I’ve enjoyed throughout my life.  Making up short stories, recording my speculations, thinking out loud on paper, even writing full length novels.  I’ve engaged in all of these over the years.

I’ve put together three novel length works over the years and they all lie in various states of editing.  That is to say they all need to be finished.  Unfortunately this requires no just the time to finish but the services of a professional editor and again more time to meet with the editor and go back and forth in an interactive process.  Not something that I can afford to engage in time wise.

I’ve joined various writing groups in town and I find it both exciting and depressing when I hear that a fellow writer is moving forward with getting a novel published.  Exciting because I feel that I am in contact and interacting with the professional writing community in my city.  Depressing because it reminds me that I need to get going on my work.

This year has been packed with responsibilities, with work, with a thousand mini-emergencies that require my attention.  Little things really.  But they need to be tended and unfortunately they tend to sap away the precious time needed to “write”.

Then of course you have to be in the mood to write.  I know this sounds ridiculous but you have to be in the right mindset in order to write.  Or at least I have to.  I don’t just turn it on and off like a faucet.  I can sit at a table with my laptop for hours looking at the screen and get nothing done.  Other times ideas are gushing out of me a mile a minute.

So I’m kind of stuck.  I want to get something done this year with at least one novel.  But finding the time has been difficult.  I barely have the time to keep this blog going.

I also have to admit that I am a bit hesitant to let a stranger, and a professional critic at that, tear into my work.  I just have to hope that I can find the time and psych myself up to get this done.  I am sure that once I get through the first editing session that I will be able to get the process rolling.

Posted in: activities, life in general, writing

The car buying experience throughout my life

April 12, 2015 7:05 AM , Leave a Comment ,

This last week I purchased a new car.  Although there was nothing technically wrong with my old 2006 Dodge Charger, time had passed as had the miles and little by little the resale value of my car was diminishing.  The leather interior had not weathered the elements too well and was cracking and the paint although not bad had seen better days.

My faithful old steed

My faithful old steed

So I looked online for about 2 months and last week I came upon an offer I could not pass up and that I knew was not likely to be repeated so after much hemming and hawing I finally went ahead and did it.

 

The new warhorse

The new warhorse

Basically it’s an updated version of the same but it’s all the extras and new features that cinched the deal.  I am quite satisfied that it will give me several years of faithful service.

Shiny new toys

Shiny new toys

I haven’t always been this deliberate in my purchasing process.  I suppose my experiences mirror that of the typical American car consumer.  Although to be honest with the way car prices are headed I may be among the last generations to think of purchasing a car as a given rather than the exception.

Growing up, a car seemed to almost be a given.  You “would” get a car.  Something on 4 wheels that rolls.  Your financial situation may not be great but you would get something.

My first car was six years old, a hatchback, and had over 60000 miles on it but I adored it because it was mine and mine alone and I could command it to take me wherever I wanted.  Such a sense of power for someone so young.  Never mind that it looked like a humpbacked monstrosity.  To me it was a formula 1 racer.  I couldn’t wait to give the salesman my money and he knew it.  No haggling, no back and forth.  If he would have wanted to, he could have skinned me like a catfish, but the amount in question ($1200) wasn’t too much to bother with so I didn’t get fleeced that badly.

I couldn’t say the same for my 3rd car.  I leased an Isuzu rodeo.  Leasing is probably the biggest waste of money ever invented in the realm of car financing.  A true waste of money. At the end of the lease you have nothing to show for the years of payments that you’ve made.  Never again.

I’ve matured somewhat in my last 2 cars and have done extensive upfront research before I even stepped into a showroom.  I’ve wrestled salesmen, finance managers, and evaluators to get the best deals for the new car and for my trade-in that is possible.  Most importantly I’ve learned to minimize the importance of the extras.

Things like new electronics, leather seats, are nice but the really important details about a car are in the financing documents, the warranty, and the insurance.  Set aside all those other considerations and focus on these three aspects of the purchasing process.  If they don’t make sense then walk away from the deal.  Go back and find another car you want.

It’s no good owning a car you can’t drive because you’re too scared that you might hit something or that empties your wallet as you drive it.

What’s more I think that if you take these factors into consideration that you will make a choice that is more reflective of the real you and will complement your personality better.

Posted in: activities, Automobiles, sales

you are not the sum of your internet identity

April 10, 2015 6:42 AM , Leave a Comment ,

I am seeing more and more people being miserable online.

I don’t know if it’s just the time of year or something that has happened lately or maybe I just didn’t notice it but I am seeing this more and more online.

Not just on Facebook (although that’s the primary source) but on other social channels.  A sense of true dissatisfaction with one’s personal life.  People complaining that they’re going nowhere and not doing what they want to do.

I think it’s the reason why I am paying less and less attention to social media lately.  I still log on but I barely pay attention to the social media tabs anymore.

I asked two people privately why they were feeling so low and their answer was essentially that they saw the good news posted by their friends online and felt that their own accomplishments or lack thereof made them feel inadequate by comparison.  They also felt that if they couldn’t “keep up” or contribute their own accomplishments at a steady rate that they were not living a worthwhile life.

Ridiculous!

One of the flaws of the internet age is that people project themselves.  Life online and offline can be radically different.  People choose to project themselves in one way or another and it may not reflect reality.

Reminds me of a discussion I had with a high school classmate.  We were discussing going to the 20th high school reunion and he said  he would not go.  I asked him why and he said a lot of people will buy fancy clothes and rent expensive cars to make themselves look more prosperous than they really were.

I think we all do this in a way.  I know that I don’t share all my bad news and I’ve had a good dose of it this year but I don’t like to share it online.  What would be the point to share that with mainly acquaintances?  My friends know my problems already.

What I’d rather do is share positive news and hopefully cheer up or maybe even inspire positive change in people.

But I think even I have to realize that we are not the sum of all these posts online.  We are living, breathing, people.  We have to learn to see beyond the tweets and Facebook posts.

we have to make our real lives more important than our online lives.

Posted in: activities, attitude, internet, social media, social networks