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Neuromancer – Book review

November 27, 2014 6:19 AM , Leave a Comment ,

[Author’s note:  I have to confess I had to go back and reread Neuromancer and  review some notes on the book for this review.  The style of the novel is so esoteric and convoluted that it is equal parts sci-fi novel, stream of consciousness, fever dream, and future speculations all rolled together into a storyline that is barely coherent.  Yet for all its  difficulties it draws the reader into the complex relationships and into the action.  Yet it also has something deep to say about the human condition and its relationship to technology.  Perhaps this is the reason why it was the first book to win the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Phillip K Dick awards all in the same year.  As always spoilers from here after so stop reading now if you don’t want to know.]

 

I read Neuromancer in college after finishing a paperback book for a boardgame called ShadowRun.  The game and subsequent book dealt with a fascinating dystopian world in the near future that was equal parts science fiction, fantasy, and grim corporate dominated future.  I found the  premise so fascinating that I wanted to learn more, particularly about the cyberpunk aspect,  After doing some research I discovered Neuromancer.

The 1970s  and 1980s were exciting decades for those on the leading edge of the computer revolution.  The power of computing was being released from the hands of research universities, governments, and large corporations and being delivered into the hands of independent computer scientists and enthusiasts.  These young computer mavericks were a new generation not tied into the conventional sense of research and who had a radically different mindset with regards to life.

The Author, William Gibson, was himself deeply enmeshed in late 60s counter-culture.  He left the US to avoid the Vietnam war and became deeply involved in the drug scene, punk music, and alternative politics and this becomes apparent in his novels that mainly deal with a protagonist beset by a repressive government or corporate structure that strives to dominate everything and everyone.  The protagonist’s only way to deal with this is in his own unconventional response born from a new way of thinking sometimes inspired by drug use and sometimes inspired by exposure to the internet.

Neuromancer begins in a near future dominated by giant multinational corporations that act more like feudal kingdoms than companies.  These companies use armies of hackers and cybernetically enhanced hitmen to execute their agendas and sidestep the law.  Elected governments barely register as entities and if they do appear, they appear as lackeys to the corporations.

In this alternate reality humans are able to log into a more advanced version of the internet known as the Matrix.  They do this by using PC  desktop-like devices known as a cyber decks which allow the user to directly plug their brains to the Matrix and experience the Cyberworld in their minds.

The protagonist of the novel is Henry Case.  Henry is a former hacker that was caught double-crossing his former employer, a large multinational conglomerate.  As a punishment for this the employer exposes Henry to a fungus based toxin that damages his nervous system and makes it impossible for him to log into the Matrix anymore.

Henry is living on the streets in Japan looking for a back alley doctor who can reverse the neural damage to his brain.  In the meantime he takes low-level menial jobs and does drugs to escape his continuous depression.

Henry is lying in the gutter when Molly Millions appears and picks him up.  Molly is a “street samurai”, a cybernetically enhanced mercenary.  She is working for Armitage,  an ex military officer, looking for a  hacker to do a special hack.  In exchange for this Armitage promises Henry the surgery to restore his shattered mind.  Having no viable options Henry accepts.

The surgery goes as planned but Armitage has the surgeon tamper with Henry’s liver  and pancreas to keep him from enjoying drugs.  In addition some poison sacks have been installed in his body.  If Henry fails or tries to double-cross Armitage the sacks will explode and cripple Henry again.

Now fully secured against betraying Armitage, Henry’s first task is to steal a hard drive containing a human personality.

In this future, people can have their memories, personalities, and everything about them digitally encoded and stored online.  Even if their bodies die they can continue on as virtual citizens living online.  In this case the personality is Dixie Flatline, Henry’s hacking mentor. Dixie is being held captive on a hard drive disconnected from the Matrix inside an office building.

Using a distraction, Henry and Molly enter the office building and steal the hard drive with Dixie’s personality.  Armitage is pleased with the operation and promises more to come.  In the meantime, Molly and Henry use their street and cyber connections to find out more about Armitage.

They learn that Armitage’s real name is Colonel Willis Corto.  He was part of a military team that attempted to raid a Soviet computer base (Operation screaming fist).  The raid went disastrously wrong and Armitage was the only survivor.  Corto was left crippled in a military hospital facing a court-martial and shortly after that he went mad and disappeared into the underworld and re-emerged as Armitage.  Armitage himself is working for someone higher up that won’t reveal himself yet.

The group travels to Turkey and recruits another member for the team.  Peter Riviera is a performance artist with cybernetic implants that allow him to project holographs around himself.  Armitage admits that Peter is mentally unbalanced but they need him to carry out the next step of the plan.

It is revealed that they are after a sophisticated Artificial Intelligence (AI) named WinterMute.  Unlike Dixie, WinterMute is a machine intellect, a machine designed to think like a human.  In this case however the company that owns WinterMute has imposed an artificial limit on WinterMute’s processing power. The company, Teshier-Ashpool, has divided WinterMute’s personality in two.  They fear that if the two halves are combined that they will become unmanageable so they have divided the AI into two parts and have installed cyber locks to control the AI.  One part of the AI is on a space station (WinterMute) and the other half is in Brazil (Neuromancer).  The aim of the operation is to allow both halves of WinterMute to freely merge together.

The team learns that it is WinterMute itself that has put together the operation.  WinterMute contacted Corto in the hospital and drove him mad creating the Armitage personality in order to recruit all the team members necessary for the operation.  It is also hinted that WinterMute may have had something to do with the failure of Screaming Fist but it is never made clear.

Henry is tasked with hacking the Brazil installation from inside the Matrix while Peter will use his holographic skills to seduce the CEO of the company, Lady3Jane, on the space station into revealing and speaking a key password into a computer terminal that will unlock the cyber locks.

The team arrives in the space station.  Armitage is becoming mentally unstable and tries to wreck the mission.  WinterMute controls the space station and ejects him out an airlock.  The team continues on but Peter betrays them to the Lady3Jane.  Henry and Molly confront Lady3Jane and explain what they are going to do.  Peter attacks them but is stopped by Lady3Jane’s bodyguard.  Lady3Jane has become convinced that their plan must be allowed to continue and speaks the password.

Henry enters the matrix to carry out his part of the mission.  Although he has Lady3Jane’s approval he still has to deal with the black ICE.  Black ICE is a hacker culture term for deadly intruder countermeasures.  The Black ICE could fry Henry’s brain if he’s not careful.  With Dixie’s help he successfully penetrates the security and frees Neuromancer.  WinterMute and Neuromancer merge together.

At the same time the poison sacks inside of Henry are neutralized.  WinterMute pays Henry and Molly for their efforts and helps Dixie to erase his own personality.

In the epilogue Henry is again working as a freelance hacker and gets a cryptic contact from WinterMute.  WinterMute has discovered a similar AI transmitting messages from another solar system.  As WinterMute leaves, Henry hears a ghostly laugh something like that of Dixie’s laugh suggesting that maybe Dixie isn’t truly dead but has merged with WinterMute.

Many of the themes discussed in Neuromancer are now cropping up in our own world.  Let’s start with Artificial Intelligence which is still the holy grail of computer research but this book asked several questions regarding that topic including whether it was such a good idea after all.  Would we want an AI to act without some sort of restraint?

This also ties in to the concept of convergence; the idea that humans are becoming more machine-like and machines are becoming more human-like.  Where exactly does the distinction lie and what happens when humans or machines cross over into the other’s realm?

The Matrix and Cyberspace which most people today would call the World Wide Web which wasn’t in existence back in ’82.  But the similarities are more than startling.  The ideas of bulletin boards, working and getting paid instantly online, being able to contact someone online.  All of this was new back then but is pretty standard now.

Cyber decks don’t of course exist but researchers have begun trying to decode the electrical signals of the brain and have transmitted simple messages using headsets.  Something that my one day lead to experiencing the internet through the mind instead of a monitor or virtual reality helmet.

Other things aren’t so positive.  The havoc which hackers can cause for example.  Another example is black ICE which unfortunately is now being researched by security companies intent on keeping websites secure.

The comparisons to real life are imperfect of course but one can see much of the novel in our daily lives already.  The questions are how much more of the novel will come true in our lives and how much of it do we want to come true in our lives?

Posted in: books, review

the wrong impression

November 25, 2014 6:40 AM , Leave a Comment ,

So you’ve spotted someone who you’re interested in. You want to make the introduction and get to know them.  You go up to them and greet them and…nothing.  Well maybe she doesn’t want to talk, maybe she’s tired, maybe waiting for someone to arrive.  Move on.

Twenty minutes later, the same person you interested in.  Some random guy tries to talk to them but now she has a totally different attitude.  Very open, very receptive.

So what’s going on?  Did you do something wrong?  Dress the wrong way, say the wrong thing? What?

The answer is….yes and no.

One thing I’ve noticed being an observer in life (and observing is a large part of what I’ve done these last forty odd years) is that in some cases it really doesn’t matter what you wear, what you say, what you look like.  Don’t get me wrong.  All that stuff helps out.  But the main thing that determines if this person will reciprocate interest is if they’re open to that attention or not.

I have seen guys in the latest fashions, the flashy jewelry, and smoothest lines get shot down while some frumpy little guy simply says hello and ends up having a six-hour conversation with the same woman.

If a woman is interested in you then you can use the stupidest hackneyed lines, dress like hell, and she’ll still think that you’re awesome and she will reciprocate the interest. Honestly, I have heard guys use ridiculously cheesy lines.  Stuff right out of bad movies and a woman will react favorably.

If she’s not interested then it doesn’t matter what you wear, what you say, or do.  Nothing will change her mind.

Why you ask?  What makes her interested in you to begin with?  Difficult to say as it’s different for everyone but maybe the guy in question is tall, maybe he’s got the build that she’s interested in.  Maybe something in his body language appeals to her.  Maybe s combination of factors.

That initial impression caries so much power in it that it can either buttress or taint a relationship before it even starts.

How do you make that first impression count when you don’t know what someone else is looking for?  You can’t carry a whole wardrobe, an image consultant, a joke writer, and a make up artist everywhere with you.

The best and really the only thing you can do is to be confident in your own skin and project that aspect of you outwards.  You have to be the biggest fan of you that exists.  If you are self-assured and you really think that you’re great and you are confident about yourself then that will show on the outside.

On the other hand if you’re dissatisfied with yourself and unsure then all of that will also come out in your bearing.  Even before you say a word it will be in your eyes and people will react negatively.  If you don’t love yourself then how do you expect others to?

Does this always work?  No.  Believe it or not, in this life not everyone will think that you’re great.  Maybe they’ll think you’re nice but someone else is better.  That’s something that you will have to accept.  So, no promises other than the promise that if you get into this frame of mind that you will have a better chance of success than if you’re in the wrong frame of mind.

Posted in: relationships

The challenge

November 23, 2014 6:48 AM , Leave a Comment ,

It lay at the bottom of the list under the category: fitness goals

  • 16 miles

The Galleria trail.  I find it helpful to give things more personalized names.  A name like “trail 6” or “route 5” just doesn’t have the proper gravitas for me. The Galleria was one of Houston’s best known malls and it was in the vicinity of this trail.  The trail was actually Briar Forest road all the way to Loop 610 west and back home.  8 miles there and 8 miles back.

I’d been crossing things off my goals list, left and right during the year but had consciously avoided this one as much as possible.  The thing seemed ludicrously impossible.  I was still mastering 6 miles a day.  Never mind such lofty goals like 16 miles or even a 26 mile marathon.  This remained in the background like one of those unwinnable prizes at a crooked carnival game.  Ever beckoning but you know you just can’t do it and trying would be a waste of time.  So you just leave it up there and tolerate it cause it looks so good.

Long about June or so I had made great progress in some areas.  Far more frankly than I’d expected or hoped.  This goal came up again.  Maybe, just maybe it was worth a try.  It wasn’t.

About 5 miles in I began thinking about the rest of the distance and my will faltered.  I stopped around Chimney rock street and returned home.  About 13 miles or so and my feet and legs already complaining.  I obviously needed more seasoning.

So I got on with life.  This goal went back up on the shelf for the time being.

October rolled around and I decided that I was now ready and made two equally disastrous attempts.  14 miles.  Close but it wasn’t happening.  More than anything I lacked the willpower to see this through.

It’s late November and this unfinished goal nags at me.  Late Friday night and driving home after an art show and I’ve had a pretty dismal day and I’m keyed up.  Hell, I’m angry.  Just a frustrating day overall.  I want something.  Something to work out my frustrations on.  The Galleria trail.  I want to go now, never mind waiting till morning.  I’m beyond just giving it the old college try or doing my best. 16 miles or bust.

I finally have the impetus to do this.  The proper frame of mind to  tackle this.

I go to bed pretty late but I can’t sleep.  I keep thinking “How, how can I do this if I’ve failed three times already?”  Then the answer hits me.  Don’t do this.  Do more.  Go up Briar Forest but return by Westheimer road.  I get up and fire up the computer and plot out the new route on Google Earth.  16.6 miles.  I stretch out the course some more by adding twists and turns and it comes out as 17.5 miles.  I go back to bed.  That should be enough.

I was setting up an even more impossible task and diminishing the power of the original challenge.

I can’t sleep the rest of the night.  Not that I have much night left anyways.  A few hours of lying in bed with my eyes open and unable to fall asleep.  Let’s  do this now!  Tear’em to pieces!  I finally get out of bed just after 4 and dress and head out.  I have to practice self control to avoid going full out.  Save it for the long haul.

Down Briar Forest and past the giant estates in the Memorial Villages.  Miniature towns carved out as tax havens back in the 50s for people with money who wanted to get away from Houston taxes but to still enjoy the benefits of Houston living.  For such a rich community they were sure chintzy about street lights.  At that time of the morning, Briar Forest was as empty and dark as a country lane.

Past Voss, past FountainView, past Chimney Rock and into new territory.  My body holding together quite well.  Morning after morning after morning of runs have accustomed my body to long runs of this length.  But will it get me through a much longer run?

Post Oak Boulevard.  Our version of Rodeo Drive in Los Angeles.  Past this is my goal.  Loop 610,  the steel and concrete moat that surrounds old Houston and divides Houston between the suburbs and the urban areas.  Between the places that people want to be and the places that most have to live in.

I worry that the Loop off ramps will be swarming with traffic but at this hour on a Saturday the off ramps are nearly deserted and I cross the street quite easily.  Running under the Loop and above me it fairly hums with life as traffic rolls on past overhead.

I crossover and go inside the loop.  I take the last few steps and land with a triumphal hop on the sidewalk of the other side.  I had made it.  Even if I have to crawl back home now, I had made it.  I run over to Westheimer and take the road back.

It’s amazing how you can drive by a place all the time and miss so many details.  All the little shops that I didn’t know were there near the Galleria area.  You really miss so much cocooned away in your steel and glass car.

Back at Chimney rock.  The first of the pains start.  Maybe my quadriceps.  A throbbing dull ache with each step.  I tell myself it will go away or at least hope that it will.  I’ve got nearly eleven miles in and six or so to go.

I go into a rhythmic pace.  left, right, left, right.  Must not stop, cannot stop.  Keep going.  Three more streetlights till Hillcroft.  Can you see it?  Way down there.  Just 3 more lights.

A new pain.  This time one of the toes in my right foot.  Each time I step into it.  A sharper pain.

3 more lights till Dunvale.  Must be around mile 13.

You’ve done more than before.  Quit now.  Sit down and have a rest and then walk the rest of the way home. No.  Keep going.

Running on the road now as the sidewalks are cracked and easy to trip on.  In a bit of a daze as I tire out.  I can barely hop out-of-the-way of oncoming traffic.  Keep going.

3 more lights till Fondren.  Then you’ll see some of the more familiar running routes.  In the distance there it is.  Chuy’s restaurant.  You pass Chuy’s on your long runs. You’re practically home, see?  Just keep going.

My left leg is now as stiff as a board.  I don’t think my knee is even bending now.  Aches with every step.  Knees are the old tenants of the body.  They constantly complain and remind you about tenant agreements and threaten to report you to the super.

My mouth is dry.  Despite the cool weather I’ve sweated out every drop of water.  Wish I cut spit.  My mouth feels like sandpaper.

“You’re doing this, you’re doing this” my mantra to keep me going.  My little prayer to maintain my faith here in this dark hour.

3 more lights till the Beltway.  Why’s it always three more lights?!?!

Behind me the sun is rising  Just lightening up everything around me.  A ludicrous thought enters my mind.  If the sun comes up you will lose and have to do it all over again.  No!  that’s ridiculous.  It’s true.  No, that’s dumb.  Despite the pain I quicken my pace as much as I can which isn’t much.

Hayes road.  I could cut through Hayes road and get back home quicker.  No.  I signed up for the full course and I will do the full course.  If I do this now then I won’t have to do it again.  Of course that’s a lie.  I will have to do this more times and do even more.  I knew what the next stage would be.  No more messing around with more intermediaries.  26.2.  Once I mastered this route then there could be no more dallying.  But that was for next year.

Stoneford Drive and finally there’s my street.  I can’t muster up any more strength as I reach my driveway. No celebrations, not even a mental pat on the back.  I slow down and try to walk.  My legs can’t make sense of walking and I stagger round like a drunken man almost falling over.  I can barely get the key in the lock.

My knees protest as I trudge upstairs.  I sit in my office chair and peel off my shoes.  That ache in my right foot was a toenail.  I had ripped it and the sock was bloody.  I always heard old-time runners complain about bloody socks and black and blue toes.  Now I understood what they meant.  Now I was an old-timer.

I had done “the impossible”.  I headed for the showers as a wave of exhaustion finally washed over me.  I tried to focus on what would be the next impossible goal.

 

Posted in: goals, running

What’s your alignment?

November 21, 2014 6:40 AM , Leave a Comment ,

From time to time people post all sorts of little quizzes and memes on social media.  One of the more prevalent ones deals with alignments such as what they had in boardgames like Dungeons & Dragons.

Some background.  In these boardgames you had to make up a character.  This reflected what values you wanted to represent in the game so you could be wise or strong or agile.  Further the game allowed you to customize the character by choosing your character’s outlook on life.  This was determined by two variables.

The first variable is fairly easy to understand.  Good, Evil, and Neutral.  Are you good or evil or somewhere in between. Are you the type of person that kicks puppies or rescues kittens out of trees or stops to consider what to do based on the situation.

The other variable is also somewhat self explanatory. Lawful, Chaotic, or again Neutral.  Do you follow the letter of the law in every situation?  See a rule and break it just because or again go with what your gut tells you to do.

These two variables form a matrix with nine elements and when you start mixing and matching elements you get some pretty interesting results to consider.

an alignment matrix using characters from popular movies and tv shows

An alignment matrix using characters from popular movies and TV shows as examples.

 

For example let’s consider lawful evil.  Wait, that’s possible, you ask?  Quite so and it makes for some extremely interesting and seemingly conflicted characters.  A person that believes that the rules of law and civilization must be followed but then turns around and uses that very law and order for evil purposes.  In many ways the scariest of the combinations.  Look at some of our own real world examples.  Hitler, several of the roman emperors, the Russian czars.  On a more local level think of a crooked city official or policeman that uses the law for his own corrupt purposes.

On the opposite side of the matrix is the Chaotic good.  Someone that doesn’t want to hurt anyone or do anything bad but just can’t seem to live by any sort of rules.  I think that describes a fair portion of the population, don’t you?  Hard to come up with world leaders for this combination as by definition they don’t work well within systems.  In the real world this would be your messed up friend that always means well and wants to help but his life is an eternal mess of unresolved issues and pending problems.

True neutral is a combination that gets mistaken for good neutral quite a bit.  I think it’s something that some people strive for but really don’t comprehend or consider the ramifications of that combination.  Sometimes you do good, sometimes you do bad, sometimes you follow the rules and sometimes you don’t.  The overriding consideration is how the situation will affect you personally and sometimes that will make you look like a heel.  Real world examples are kind of tough.  Thomas Jefferson comes to mind as he advocated rule of law but on the other hand he was a revolutionary.  He preached equality and brotherhood but owned slaves.  A character such as this would be a person that did what he needed to survive but occasionally did something good for others but with the understanding that it somehow benefited him.

So what am I?  Well when I was a kid and played this game I have to admit I always went for the lawful good.  Goody two shoes that I was.  It wasn’t till later in life that I had a chance to really sit down and think about all the implications of it all.  True neutral?  no.  Probably somewhere between neutral good and chaotic good

 

Posted in: life in general, thought, writing

resolutions, already?

November 19, 2014 7:06 AM , Leave a Comment ,

Someone on Facebook posted the other day that we had 22 working days left in the year and by golly he was close.  I had 24 left.  Where had the year gone?  Turn around and you suddenly find yourself wrapping Christmas gifts again and still doing a terrible job of it.

One of the things I had to do was to review my set of goals for the year.  Last year on my vacation I began setting down a series of goals, deadlines, and downright impossible challenges for myself.  Over the past year I’ve been checking myself off on them and I’ve done remarkably well on some and came to the realization on others that they weren’t really feasible at all.

I write these down in a notebook.  Other folks that I know have elaborate spreadsheets and computer files but I like the tactile feel of writing these things down on paper.  Makes them feel real, you know?  Plus it feels good to put a check mark next to or scratch out an objective.  Much better than guiding a mouse over a box and clicking it.

So what’s the difference between this and those inebriated yahoos on New Year’s eve that promise to stop smoking or lose 20 pounds? I don’t know.  Intent?  I think most people understand that promises made on or around New Years are just drunken boasts and carry about as much legal and personal force as a pinkie swear.  Putting these things down on paper after long and considered thought just makes these things feel real and serious to me.

So how to start?  Well not at the last-minute.  That’s where most people get in trouble and make ridiculous goals.  Start ahead of time.  Last year I started at the end of October.  This year I am starting now.

Firstly by reviewing my goals for the past year and seeing how I’ve done so far.  I will probably post my results in late December on this blog but I did get some significant things done.  I don’t have to go back and redo them next year so hey, progress!

Next I start considering “Hey that was ridiculously easy!  Why not try some more of that?” or “That was way tougher than I thought.  Better scale that down for next year.”  It’s an interactive process.  Lots of scratching out, erasing, reworking, even tearing out and balling up papers.

Next some refining.  “I have 5 things for that month and nothing for this month.  Move 2 things over”  More refining.  “Can’t do that in Winter, need to move it to Summer” A lot of checking calendars, checking websites, maybe even checking with other people.

By this time I’m spread out between 6 or 7 sheets of papers, on a couple of post it notes, maybe a napkin or two.

Time to collate and make my first “final draft”.  Put it all down in one place and look it over in its entirety.  Maybe then I get a sense of how ridiculous it sounds and start over but most of the time I will stick to it.  Maybe a few fixes here and there and go for my next and hopefully last “final draft”, the one that goes in the notebook.

20141118_183904

 

So there it sits in the notebook in my satchel.  Lying next to all my work and other notes, next to my laptop and pens.  An ever-present reminder.

Do I check it all the time?  No.  I probably refer to it more at the beginning of the year and slack off as things get checked off or the year gets short.  But I do check and I do try to live up to it.  I don’t beat myself up if I miss a mark but I do keep it in mind.

That’s really the whole essence of these resolutions, promises, goals, or whatever you choose to call them.  They are guidelines to live by, here to help.  They are not slave masters set over you made to oppress you.

If they ever start to hurt or hinder you more than help you then you know that something is wrong.

 

 

 

Posted in: plans

worthwhile books?

November 17, 2014 6:11 AM , Leave a Comment ,

I was doing some winter cleaning the other day.  I don’t do spring cleanings.

Besides removing a ton of dust and a pile of receipts from Walgreens, Starbucks, HEB, and a half-dozen other places I found about 20 books scattered round my room.  Books I’d picked up on a whim at places like Barnes and Noble or at half price books and just had not read at all.

I love to browse round bookstores for a long time.  Usually when I shop I head in at breakneck speed and go directly for what I want but looking for books is different.  One of the few times I take time to dawdle and promenade up and down the isles looking at books from one genre to another. I specially like to linger in places like half price books.  The place feels like a kitschy flea market.  You never know what you will find from one visit to another.

I will get the book that I came in for but I usually pick up 2 or 3 other titles.  That’s the problem.  Since these aren’t the books I came in looking for I will bring them home and lay them aside here and there and six months later I have a small library of unread books that aren’t exactly what I like but I picked up for some reason that now escapes me.

Some selected titles?

“A model world” by Michael Chabon.  Admittedly an interesting writer but I have no clue why I picked up this small volume of short stories.

“Galactic derelict” by Andre Norton.  I possibly picked this up because I read her stuff back in college but that was for a totally different storyline.

“Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam”.  One of those books that I “should” have already read but haven’t.

“1491” by Charles Mann.  A sort of Atlas and history book of the Americas before Columbus

So now I’ve got all these books to read and no excuse to buy anything else till I finish these off but to be totally honest, some of these I really don’t want to read.  I’m thinking of just tossing them in the box of books to be returned to half price books without reading them.  But I think I will give them a glance at least.

Something made me buy them in the first place so there has to be some good in them.

 

Posted in: books, life in general

Are pets worth it?

November 16, 2014 7:00 AM , 2 Comments ,

[Author’s note:  This is part of a series of writing challenges first proposed to me by Leslie Farnsworth.  Leslie has organized and expanded the challenge to include a larger group of excellent blog writers.  Once per month one member of the group will propose a topic and we will all give our own unique take on the subject.  You may want to look at some of the other bloggers listed below to see what they came up with:

 

First, full disclosure. My last pet died about 17 years ago. Since that time I haven’t even entertained the thought of getting another pet.  I am primarily going to discuss the relationship between humans and cats and dogs as those are the two best known pets species in the world.

So where did pets come from and why do we still have them? Obviously they started as work animals. Additional hands for hunting,  vermin eradicators, guard animals, and occasionally food sources. Practicality was at the core of the decision to keep them but along the way something rare happened.   Mutual affection. Something rare amongst humans let alone between different species.

We became attached to these helpmates that we had created for ourselves and they in turn became attached to us.

So now thousands of years since adopting them for practical purposes and a century or so since they have for the most part dropped their original role we keep them for no other reason than their company.  The average person living in an apartment or condominium has no practical use for a pet.  We no longer hunt for food, herding is done mainly on horseback, and the responsibility for eradicating vermin has for the most part been outsourced to other humans.  So on that basis is it worth it to the average urbanite to keep an animal solely for affectionate purposes?

Humans are unique in the animal world.  We not only suffer physical maladies but we also suffer quite acutely from mental maladies.  Other animals can of course suffer psychologically but not to the level of humans.  Loneliness is a huge problem for humans and can lead to  plethora of mental conditions.  We can become inert and even die from a mental disorder.  One of the best remedial treatments for this is companionship. Animals can fulfill this role quite well.  In fact after thousands of years with humans they have in a figurative sense become bred for the purpose of being companions to humans.

Lap dogs, which once fulfilled roles as vermin hunters, now nestle comfortably indoors for the most part.  Cats, given half a chance, will revert to their hunting past but for the most part are satisfied to explore a home from every angle.  The odd thing is that lapdogs neatly fit the size of a human infant and the exigent meows of a cat are similar in tone and urgency of that of an infant child.

They fulfill the role of surrogate family member for many lonely people and even for people with children.  I have often heard the expression “fur babies” used by humans with regards to their pets.

But does that all make it worth having them in our lives?  Any thoughtful and logical person knows the plain facts.  The average pet will only last around a decade.  Perhaps they may stretch out as much as two decades but the point is that they will die sooner rather than later.  The deep emotional attachment will inevitably lead to sadness and perhaps more when the pet dies.  So knowing that, is it worth investing time, resources, and love for a creature knowing what you know will happen one day?

One might honestly ask the same question about any emotional bond or relationship in life.  In some ways we are short-lived creatures.  On average we spend the first two decades of life preparing for it and the last decade or so preparing to exit life.  In between we have half a century or so to experience what we experience for good or bad.  Naturally the average person wants those experiences to be good but I think that once we reach some point in our lives we understand that some unhappiness is inevitable.

I suppose one could go through life without any emotional attachments to another person or animal and have a perfectly good life.  But to me at least it seems that it would be a somewhat dull and lackluster existence without any of the brilliance and beauty that interacting with others brings to it.

Is there going to be pain?  Of course there is.  Pain is a part of life.  Accepting that there may be pain and proceeding anyways is a mark of someone who embraces life.  Letting pain or the fear of pain dominate you is a sign of retreating  from life.

Pets can be the first friends that we make as children, they can be the only one that understands when life isn’t going well, they can be the last link to the outside world when we slip down the long dark tunnel of dementia in our later years.

Pets are wonderful.

 

Posted in: life in general, pets, relationships

strength

November 15, 2014 7:07 AM , Leave a Comment ,

I’m told that I put too much stock into movies.  Well, that’s just me.  I don’t take in all my information through the written word.  A good-sized chunk of the information that I take in comes through visually.  That’s one reason I take in little bits of movies here and there and save them to chew over later.

I had a long night working the other night and got to bed round midnight.  One of a series of long nights that I’ve had working on the job, on side projects, on writing, on my fitness goals, on life in general in the past six months.  As always I didn’t get half of what I wanted done and I felt eternally behind schedule.

I needed to wind down a bit.  Let the brain disconnect from everything that had filled my head.  I didn’t want to get caught up in a book and stay up all night long and I was sick of being online, so I flicked on the TV and surfed round till I came upon the movie “Men in Black“.  At that point the movie was on a short but fairly memorable (memorable to me at least) scene, where a younger character is being recruited by an older character to join the team:

J – ” Hey, Is it worth it?”

K – ” Oh yeah, it’s worth it…. If you’re strong enough.”

 

 

If you’re strong enough.

Was I just trying to make sense of my situation or was this synchronicity trying to make me come to terms with my life as of late.  If you’re strong enough.  Actually that’s a fairly accurate description of life isn’t it?

“The adventure that you get is the one that you’re ready for” is a phrase I once heard.  Campbell I think.

The reason why some people can casually stroll into a situation, command it, and thrive while others are flustered, barely thread water, and eventually sink under the weight of it all.

I’ve been stretching out in so many directions in the last year or so.  Maybe more than I ever have in my life.  I’ve been doing things that I never dreamed or even considered that I would or could do.  Some of it has been nerve-wracking to say the least, some of it has been a pleasant surprise and made me wonder why I hadn’t done it before.

But it has been a strain at times.  Even on days when everything’s going my way I wonder if I will have time to do it all and on days when things aren’t going my way….

I could easily just stop many of these projects.  Just call it off and go back to letting life happen to me as it will.  The thing is though that I wouldn’t want to go back to that.  I in fact want to go faster.  I’ve held off on my life for so long that I feel that I want to make up for lost time.  Not really possible as I have some limitations to face.  But I keep trying, keep looking, keep seeing how I can accelerate my life to that point that I want to be at.

The adventure that you’re ready for.  Maybe my life has been slowly grooming and preparing me to reach this point.  Whether as a function of fate or as a function of my life experience I don’t know.  Whatever the case may be I have to embrace it wholly and see where this leads me.

 

 

 

 

Posted in: activities, attitude, plans

performance reviews

November 13, 2014 6:44 AM , Leave a Comment ,

Anyone that’s worked in an office for a boss has had to go through one of these at some point.

In small companies it’s usually a one on one informal and unannounced get together.  Basically the boss stops by your desk and asks “how are things going?” and gets to the point in a roundabout way.  One thing you should know about your boss is that they rarely do something without a reason.

In larger offices of course it’s a more organized and formal affair.  You might have to talk to your immediate boss or an HR person or maybe you even have a peer review system in place and discuss matters with your co-workers.  So it might be useful to know what a performance review is and what it is not supposed to be.

So what’s the point of a performance review? it’ basically the opportunity for those that you work with or work for to let you know how you’ve been doing at your job. We all like to think that we’re doing things the best way possible and that we don’t have any flaws in our work habits.  But even the best and most conscientious of workers has a lapse from time to time.  In other cases, such as when you’re just starting out, your boss or your co-workers can share with you their accumulated wisdom and may be able to improve your workflow or make things easier for you.

So what is a performance review not supposed to be?  It’s not a beat down session where people take free shots at you.  Sometimes it’s hard to hear that you’re not perfect or that you could be doing things in a better way.  Sometimes when you’re starting out in your career a performance review seems like everyone is ganging up on you and trying to pick on the least little flaw.  That’s not what business is about.  Remember you and everyone there at the company is there to make money for the company.  Personality issues are not conducive to that end.

Take this as the opportunity not only to learn from any flaws or mistakes in your work rhythm but also to think about how you fit into the general scheme of the company.  Is the way that they do things comfortable for you?  Is it totally bizarre, alien, and not at all your way of working?  They’re basically telling you what you’re supposed to do and how you’re supposed to do it.  Think about all of this and take this opportunity to decide whether you want to continue on at this company.

The performance review should be an opportunity for you not a dreaded event.

Posted in: business, career, work

But is it art?

November 11, 2014 7:34 AM , Leave a Comment ,

The National Novel Writing month (NaNoWriMo) has  commenced and all across the nation budding Stephen Kings, and Michael Crichtons and Mickey Spillanes all pour their thoughts and feelings down on computer screens.  Most of these novels won’t ever go anywhere but at least the seeds of writing will get planted here and there and who knows maybe some day one of these writers will be a best seller.

I don’t really entertain such lofty aspirations for myself.  For me it’s enough to set all this down on paper or in the computer and get it out of my system.  If someone reads it, understands it, maybe even appreciates it, then so much the better.

One thing though that I have yet to answer satisfactorily, at least to some folks satisfaction, is it art?  Is writing really an art form that can be posted alongside paintings, or sculpture, or musical compositions.  Those you can look at and even if you don’t like it you at least acknowledge as art.

Whenever I attend an art gallery or showing or whatever and the question inevitably arises “What do you do?” my artist friends reply that they paint or sculpt or whatever and when it comes to be my turn I answer that I write.

A pause fills the air.  An unspoken “Oh, that’s nice” seems to hang there.

People don’t really know where to take the conversation with that.  With painters you can ask them what medium they work in or what style of painting or their particular subject matter.

With writers though you firstly don’t know what a good follow-up question is (hint:  ask what genre they work in), secondly I think there is a bit of a misconception that writing really isn’t all that special a skill, that it really doesn’t require discipline or creativity.  Anyone can write is what most people feel.

Another challenge is that with a painting, a photograph, a sculpture that you can see the art work in its totality right then and there.  With writing you might have to dig several chapters deep into a book, really curl up in a chair on in bed for a long time to start to finally appreciate the work.

For example, a sports writer writes up a review of a football game or a boxing match and waxes poetically about the event, he adds historical allusions, adds similes, really goes all out and doesn’t just provide cold hard facts. Is that art or is it just an overwrought report?

Some guy writes up a story about space aliens and bug-eyed monsters that’s been rehashed over and over again and is so predictable that it’s boring.  Again is that art or just someone dealing out the same tired storyline?

To that I say that just as there are great thought-provoking paintings and just like there are paintings of dogs playing poker, there is good writing and there is bad writing but the main thing is that it’s all art.

We may have to pour in a thousand words to say as much as your one picture but the point is that we do pour in those thousand words and every little blog post, short story, or even great american novel is worthy of being regarded as art. We stress and worry over the placement of every paragraph, the structure of every sentence, the choice of every word as much a poet choosing the right color or a songwriter choosing the right note.

If the point of art is to elicit a response, to make another person think, to communicate an idea then yes writing is an art form and writers are artists just as much as anyone that ever picked up a brush or strummed a note from a guitar.

Posted in: activities, art, writing