Category Archives: Activities

Appropriate

May 25, 2015 6:21 PM , Leave a Comment ,

I was at a convention recently.  One of those pop culture conventions that caters to the younger crowd and as is my wont I tend to wander round the dealer’s room for hours at a time discovering new things and resisting the urge to buy everything.

Anyways I was near the center and I came upon a small tent display for a large name insurance company.  They were offering the usual little knickknacks that they give away at conventions (fridge magnets, paperweights, pens, etc) and they were trying to get names and email addresses.  A few rows over another company was advertising high-end bedding.

This made me wonder who came up with this?  I mean I understand the advertising concept of “go where there’s a crowd”, but I mean really?  Hawking bedding and insurance at a pop culture convention inhabited mainly by kids, teens, and twentysomethings?  What type of resources (as in $) are they throwing into this effort and what sort of return are they realistically expecting to get from this?

Of course this isn’t the only example I saw of this type of thing. Over the memorial day weekend there were of course several sporting events including some major races and many of these events have corporate sponsorship but at least there the expected audience is more generalized and it’s more likely that you will get some return on your investment.

This idea of just showing up at these conventions and trying to plug yourself in no matter what really doesn’t make any sense to me.

At the very least I would hope that these companies might try to come up with some themes, giveaways, or some sort of tie in to the convention that might somehow appeal to the expected audience.  Something so they won’t seem so out-of-place.

Posted in: activities, business, consumerism, conventions

find what really makes you happy

May 20, 2015 6:26 AM , Leave a Comment ,

I was thinking about a study I read several years back.  It was about how children that would instinctively put off instant gratification and momentary gains and instead pursued long-term rewards would statistically go on to have more fulfilling and successful lives.

What brought this on?  Well, I suddenly realized how far into 2015 we’d gotten and how the first quarter went past in a blur and the second quarter was close to done and I hadn’t reviewed the progress of my yearly goals yet.

Why hadn’t I done this?  I suppose I could give various excuses from being too lazy to dealing with illness in March to this and that but I also have to be honest and admit I have been partly dreading this.  I haven’t been doing as well as I’d hoped to be at this point.

So I was walking in downtown Houston the other day and thinking about this.  It was after dark and downtown was mostly deserted and it was cool and quiet.  Near perfect conditions to think.

Were these goals making me happy or were they becoming obsessions that would not yield long-term satisfaction?  Was I eschewing short-term gratification to pursue these goals or just denying myself living my life for no good reason?

I mean I created these goals in order to have a better life and to do something meaningful.  I think I did a pretty good job of it as well but the thing is that for some of my goals I think that I am pouring good resources into lost causes and basically wasting them where I could instead be using them for other projects.

So I have to evaluate these goals and see if these are worth continuing on and if I just hang on a little longer that things will get better or if I’m just hanging on due to some sense of pride that won’t let me quit on these goals.

I think that’s what I meant by the title “find what really makes you happy”.  Sit down, look at these goals, and see if they will truly make you happy.

Posted in: activities, advice, goals, motivation, plans

meet your needs

May 16, 2015 6:19 AM , Leave a Comment ,

Sometimes it’s difficult.

Repetitions or reps suck.  But you have to do them and you have to keep doing them till you start getting somewhere.  But they still suck.

Laps suck.  Going up and down the same lane over and over again.  Swallowing pool water, stinking of chlorine.  Why do I keep doing it?

After an hour or so I leave feeling a bit wobbly, a bit achy, but no stronger.  Or at least I don’t notice it.  That’s the thing about exercise.  You really don’t notice any improvement at first or at all for weeks, months, if not years.  As you get stronger you get accustomed to your new body and don’t notice any change.  But it all takes time.

Sometimes, when I look across at some of the power lifters or the competitive swimmers, or the fast runners I want to try to match them, to get onto their level.  Tired of waiting and going through the slow process.

I can maybe keep up with them for a little bit.  Match them stroke for stroke, lift heavier, keep pace running but after a bit I falter.  I’m not there yet.

I have to remind myself that I should not train to their pace but to my pace.  I remember way back when I first started and runners would jog past me as I started walking, not even running, but walking and how frustrating it was.  But I knew I wasn’t ready yet.  Over time I began to run and I could even pass some slower people but by that time that didn’t even matter at all.

It was the hard work and the commitment that mattered the most.

That’s what I have to remember these days.  I need to work out to meet my needs not do the work out that meets the needs of other people.  More patience, more hard work, more commitment.  That’s the only way that I’m going to achieve anything.

Posted in: activities, exercise, habits

Extra energy

May 12, 2015 7:06 AM , Leave a Comment ,

[Author’s note:  This is an edited and reprinted post from April 2007]

So I step out of the house and go to my car this morning and I see that nature has pollinated all over my shiny Dodge.

The formerly midnight blue glossy coat was now covered by a yellow dusty cover. Those harlot pine trees had done all their business all over my car. Nature is in full bloom

Birds and bees are doing unspeakable and I would think unnatural things. Couples out together, the wafting fragrances of Spring are in the air and a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of how long it had been since he had last…..pollinated.

Other species have it easy. Young Rams for example will butt heads to see who is the fittest and strongest one to mate. This has two advantages. One it assures the survival of the species, but a more socially practical benefit is that the losers have such a bad headache they forget all about pollination for the rest of the year and don’t cause trouble.

Human males of course don’t butt heads, and the only other suitable outlets for this frustration (pillaging, war, midnight street racing) are tightly regulated by law these days.

So that tends to leave a lot of pent-up energy that needs to be released. Now people with the time and the inclination will use up this energy with hobbies, working out in the gym, plotting world domination, or discovering unified field theories. Luckily my laziness has evolved beyond these simple pass times to embrace a much more worthwhile endeavor. Beating up orcs in Everquest.

So whenever the frustration is too great I’ll take out my high level character and wander to one of the beginner zones and start pounding the hell out of anything that moves.

No one but computer generated files suffer and after an hour or two of laying waste to an entire culture you get a sense of satisfaction and forget about any other needs.

Of course that still leaves my pollen covered car in the drive way, but that’s what car washes are for.

Posted in: activities, attitude, culture, dating, life in general, relationships

Making time

May 6, 2015 6:34 AM , Leave a Comment ,

It may seem odd but I have found that when you’re the busiest and have the least time, that’s when you need most of all to have some time off for yourself.

I can’t claim to be the busiest person I know.  I know plenty of other people who are busier but I’m no slouch.  I’m basically up and moving around from four in the morning till 10:30 at night.  I have a ton work and family things to do and I never have enough time.

Work, exercise, and home life take up my time during the week.  In what few time gaps I get I do every day chores and take care of things that need to be done but I always keep busy.

Sometimes it seems that the weekdays roll into each other and that my “morning” began on Monday and my “afternoon” ended on Friday.  Not that healthy for a person to do that all the time.

The weekends have their own set of responsibilities but it’s not as hectic as the week so I use them for what they were meant to be used.  I take a “break” from the weekly grind and I try to do something different.

Doesn’t really matter what you do.  Go clubbing, a hobby, go dancing, read for an evening.  The point of a “break” is just that.  To break the monotony of the routine and let the pressure on your mind ease up.  Let it breathe a bit.

Don’t kid yourself that you can keep going all out all the time.  Maybe you could when you were in your twenties or even your thirties.  But one thing I’ve found that in my forties that I can’t keep doing that all the time.  It gets unhealthy not to let the pressure off your mind.  You start missing obvious problems, you start accepting “less than the best” efforts, you get despondent.  I find that over time my dynamic thinking skills deteriorate and I start just doing the “wash, rinse, and repeat” type of cycle every day.  Unless you work at a fast food place that’s no way to work.

Think of this as maintenance or a tune up for your mind and body.  A way to keep going throughout the year at peak efficiency.  This is probably the cheapest way that you can keep yourself going without having to take a full-blown vacation.

 

Posted in: activities, family, life in general, work

The new old age

May 2, 2015 6:59 AM , Leave a Comment ,

I was out at an actual rock concert this week.  I don’t mean a concert by some local band but an actual large arena rock concert.  I can’t remember when I did this last.  Certainly not since college and possibly even since before that.  I was even more of a square back then than what I am now.

I went to see The Who on their 50th anniversary tour.  It was a toss-up between this or Rush in May but I figured this may be my last chance to see this band so I opted for this.  I figure Rush has another 10 years left in them at least.

I was worried I might look out-of-place at a rock concert.  Being a middle-aged dude at what is usually a young person’s event.  What would I wear?  Should I try to look more “punk” or “hard rock”? Would people think “what is he doing here?”  Boy, was I totally wrong.

If anything I skewed towards the younger end of the spectrum and the more grungy end of the clothing.  I arrived at the Toyota center and I wondered if I got there on the wrong night.  The place was full of “suburbanite-like” people.  These people are here for the rock concert?  Where are all the long-haired hippie type people?  Then I realized that they were right there in front of me.

I bought a concert t-shirt and headed up to my seat.   I was walking round the giant stadium and passing some folks using walkers.  I sat down and proceeded to do some people watching, one of my favorite pastimes, as I waited for the concert to start.  A few rows down was a guy that looked like a silver-haired judge with his wife.  A guy sitting near me had a crew cut, wore a button down shirt and had penny loafers, and looked like he belonged in some office building instead of here.  Bit hard to imagine these guys as sixties teenagers jamming out to The Who but as soon as Roger Daltrey started belting out the hits they began coming alive.

Speaking of being alive, Daltrey and Townshend were amazing as they ever were.  They could still bring it.  It’s no wonder that they been touring for so long.  They were totally worth seeing.

I then began to reflect on what old age means now and what it might mean in the future.  It would definitely not be the “classic” definition of old age.  I mean of course the idea that at some point you “retire” from your professional life and also pretty much retire from interaction with your community. My dad unfortunately subscribes to this view of old age and has become set in his ways and pretty much refuses to try any new activity.  He frequently trots out the excuse “I’m just getting old” and with that refuses to consider trying anything new.

The new old age now focuses on transitioning away from the activities that you participated previously (an active work schedule, full social responsibilities, various commitments) to one that emphasizes relaxation and developing oneself.  Developing the body, developing new skills and interests, and just trying out other facets of life.  This is a far cry from the traditional model of just marking time and waiting for the end of life.

I find this oddly comforting and hopeful.  You don’t have to “quit” being you at some prescribed age.  You don’t have to “act your age” and not enjoy the music or activities of your youth.  You can still be you no matter if you’re 20 or 40 or 80.  Your life is yours to do what you want regardless of age.

Now more than ever I am thankful that I have begun taking care of my body.  I want to be able to enjoy what life has to offer and to contribute what I can to life for as long as possible.

Posted in: activities, aging, attitude, music

it’s never over

April 24, 2015 7:07 AM , Leave a Comment ,

One of those Facebook posts that seems to circulate all over your news feed really hit home today.  It was titled “The after myth“.  The post was an essay about a fat person who took the time and did the work to lose a lot of weight and succeeded but a few years after her success realized that there is no after, there is just the now.

I’ve been on my health kick for the last four years now.  Begun as a necessity to restore my health.  Starting slowly, having several missteps and finally starting to see results in the last year.  I mean really big tangible results.  The type where the guy in the commercial holds up his giant pants and steps from behind them to reveal his “new” skinnier version.

No matter how you do it (whether it’s exercise, diet, stomach staples, whatever) these ads gloss over the time, the struggle, the long hours which stretch into days and then weeks, months, and years.  The process gets lost to get to the point on the TV screen.

It’s gratifying seeing people who I haven’t seen for a long time and having them tell me how much better I look now that I’ve lost the weight but I find it puzzling. Before the weight or after the weight, it’s still me.

I’m still the same person regardless of the weight and I found that this essay was right on the mark.  For me there is no “after”.  I have to keep to this lifestyle from now on.

Back in March I had to deal with the flu that was going round Houston.  First I had to take care of a couple of people who got sick for a couple of weeks and then I got sidelined by it as well.  My exercise routine went to hell and I began to pile on some weight.  Maybe it was not noticeable to anyone else but it was to me.  Just proved it to me that I don’t have a magical goal number to reach.  This is my life now.

My metabolism has slowed over time.  It was never very high but now it’s slowing down as I age.  I need to keep working out. I need to watch my diet, I need to keep the process going.

I am still the same person that I was at 288 pounds that I am now at 181 pounds.  I am just more aware and more conscious about the type of life I live and the consequences of my actions or in-actions.

I’m not defined by the number on a weight scale.  No one is, or at least no one should be.  I hope that I am defined by my actions and thoughts.  Hopefully those actions and thoughts will lead me to a healthier and happier life.

Posted in: activities, aging, diet, exercise, goals, health, life in general

between worlds

April 18, 2015 6:19 AM , Leave a Comment ,

Big western cities like Houston give people lots of room to develop themselves and their lives into what they want them to be.  I guess that’s part of the allure of what is sometimes referred to as the “american dream”.

I mean you can go from one part of Houston and suddenly find yourself in a totally different situation to what you were in five minutes earlier.  I have friends and acquaintances all over the Houston area from the big ex-burbs like Katy, Sugarland, and the Woodlands and of course friends inside the city limits proper.  They all swear that their part of Houston is the best and can’t imagine how people can live in other parts of town. People can find the part of town that best suits them and live the type of life that they want.

But beyond just mere geography there lies another type of life that we can lead.  The individual interests, the pass times, the hobbies.  Whatever you want to call them.  I find it amazing how wrapped up and how into these things people can get.  People can get so into these things that they barely notice that there are other worlds out there.

I tend to drift between a variety of different worlds and different groups so I’ve had the opportunity to observe these various sub-cultures interact and express themselves in their own natural surroundings.

Some examples?

Back in January I was at a big art gallery party held in what used to be a factory.  Crowded from top to bottom with well dressed people, loud music, food and drink.  Models, artists, and local luminaries all hobnobbing the evening away.  Lots of back slapping and hearty handshakes as people got re-acquainted or met new friends and contacts.

In the Fall and Winter I go to book readings downtown.  A local group invites notable authors and they come to Houston to read from their latest books.  Sometimes it’s a well-known personality, sometimes a barely known author.  I can already recognize some of the audience members as regulars and I get the sense that this is a group that has a long history.

A couple of weeks ago I was at an anime convention at the George R Brown.  Kids and adults all dressed up in costumes and walking nonchalantly around.  Nobody really giving them a second thought.  Most of the vendors, staff, and speakers at these events travel on a convention circuit and see each other all the time.

A few months ago I was at a boxing match. Now, my idea of boxing matches were moodily lit events with maybe a couple dozen guys around a ring in some grungy gym.  But this was a large hall with thousands of people and valet parking.  Very well-organized and looking around I got the sense that a lot of these people came to these fights regularly and knew one another.

The two things I noticed in all four of these situations was:

1.  A real sense of community within these groups.  They were fully developed sub-cultures.  Individuals in these groups were totally comfortable within these situations.

2. I am fairly certain that if I asked individuals within these sub-cultures about the other sub-cultures that they would either not know anything about those groups or almost nothing about them.

This leads back to my observation of how this large city allows people to find and express themselves in their own part of the city and lead the type of life that they want to lead.  I find it fascinating to travel from one to another.

Posted in: activities, culture, Houston, life in general

time enough

April 14, 2015 6:34 AM , Leave a Comment ,

Writing is an activity that I’ve enjoyed throughout my life.  Making up short stories, recording my speculations, thinking out loud on paper, even writing full length novels.  I’ve engaged in all of these over the years.

I’ve put together three novel length works over the years and they all lie in various states of editing.  That is to say they all need to be finished.  Unfortunately this requires no just the time to finish but the services of a professional editor and again more time to meet with the editor and go back and forth in an interactive process.  Not something that I can afford to engage in time wise.

I’ve joined various writing groups in town and I find it both exciting and depressing when I hear that a fellow writer is moving forward with getting a novel published.  Exciting because I feel that I am in contact and interacting with the professional writing community in my city.  Depressing because it reminds me that I need to get going on my work.

This year has been packed with responsibilities, with work, with a thousand mini-emergencies that require my attention.  Little things really.  But they need to be tended and unfortunately they tend to sap away the precious time needed to “write”.

Then of course you have to be in the mood to write.  I know this sounds ridiculous but you have to be in the right mindset in order to write.  Or at least I have to.  I don’t just turn it on and off like a faucet.  I can sit at a table with my laptop for hours looking at the screen and get nothing done.  Other times ideas are gushing out of me a mile a minute.

So I’m kind of stuck.  I want to get something done this year with at least one novel.  But finding the time has been difficult.  I barely have the time to keep this blog going.

I also have to admit that I am a bit hesitant to let a stranger, and a professional critic at that, tear into my work.  I just have to hope that I can find the time and psych myself up to get this done.  I am sure that once I get through the first editing session that I will be able to get the process rolling.

Posted in: activities, life in general, writing

The car buying experience throughout my life

April 12, 2015 7:05 AM , Leave a Comment ,

This last week I purchased a new car.  Although there was nothing technically wrong with my old 2006 Dodge Charger, time had passed as had the miles and little by little the resale value of my car was diminishing.  The leather interior had not weathered the elements too well and was cracking and the paint although not bad had seen better days.

My faithful old steed

My faithful old steed

So I looked online for about 2 months and last week I came upon an offer I could not pass up and that I knew was not likely to be repeated so after much hemming and hawing I finally went ahead and did it.

 

The new warhorse

The new warhorse

Basically it’s an updated version of the same but it’s all the extras and new features that cinched the deal.  I am quite satisfied that it will give me several years of faithful service.

Shiny new toys

Shiny new toys

I haven’t always been this deliberate in my purchasing process.  I suppose my experiences mirror that of the typical American car consumer.  Although to be honest with the way car prices are headed I may be among the last generations to think of purchasing a car as a given rather than the exception.

Growing up, a car seemed to almost be a given.  You “would” get a car.  Something on 4 wheels that rolls.  Your financial situation may not be great but you would get something.

My first car was six years old, a hatchback, and had over 60000 miles on it but I adored it because it was mine and mine alone and I could command it to take me wherever I wanted.  Such a sense of power for someone so young.  Never mind that it looked like a humpbacked monstrosity.  To me it was a formula 1 racer.  I couldn’t wait to give the salesman my money and he knew it.  No haggling, no back and forth.  If he would have wanted to, he could have skinned me like a catfish, but the amount in question ($1200) wasn’t too much to bother with so I didn’t get fleeced that badly.

I couldn’t say the same for my 3rd car.  I leased an Isuzu rodeo.  Leasing is probably the biggest waste of money ever invented in the realm of car financing.  A true waste of money. At the end of the lease you have nothing to show for the years of payments that you’ve made.  Never again.

I’ve matured somewhat in my last 2 cars and have done extensive upfront research before I even stepped into a showroom.  I’ve wrestled salesmen, finance managers, and evaluators to get the best deals for the new car and for my trade-in that is possible.  Most importantly I’ve learned to minimize the importance of the extras.

Things like new electronics, leather seats, are nice but the really important details about a car are in the financing documents, the warranty, and the insurance.  Set aside all those other considerations and focus on these three aspects of the purchasing process.  If they don’t make sense then walk away from the deal.  Go back and find another car you want.

It’s no good owning a car you can’t drive because you’re too scared that you might hit something or that empties your wallet as you drive it.

What’s more I think that if you take these factors into consideration that you will make a choice that is more reflective of the real you and will complement your personality better.

Posted in: activities, Automobiles, sales