This is a modified reprint of one of my more successful Myspace blog posts. Mainly modified to make it more current.
Alcohol is a serious subject, worthy of a blog at least. I have decided to distill (pun intended) my personal wisdom on the subject drawing from my vast personal history with the subject.
My first experience with liquor was as a child. Coming from a wine growing country it was naturally of course wine I first came to know. Although I don’t want to give the impression that my parents condoned it. Indeed they’re both somewhat teetotalers, specially my father. But during childhood they would allow me to taste.
My personal experimentation didn’t begin till I was 17. My friends and I would cruise the city looking for cheap convenience stores and buy something called “Canadian black label beer”. It was an awful little beer but cheap enough for a bunch of teens to buy, and the clerk never carded.
We lucked out in that we never were busted or crashed our car but we knew plenty of people that did.
I didn’t do much underage drinking in college although College Station is notorious for alcoholism. One of the favorite pass times of drunks in that town is to get wasted and go out onto Texas Avenue and direct traffic at night. Really the only time I drank was during bonfire and mostly we just stayed in and got hammered on cheap beer.
Once I did turn 21 I started hanging out at the Dry Bean Saloon. A western saloon style bar with lots of cowboy stuff up on the walls. So began my real alcoholic education. I was introduced to liquid cocaine (a nasty concoction of goldschlager, 151, and jagermeister), to the flaming Dr Pepper (a flaming glass of jagermeister dunked in a beer and slammed back), three wise men (3 different types of whisky), Texas Tea (vodka, brandy, tequila and rum) as well as all sorts of beers from lagers to stouts.
Now I didn’t always want to go out and get totally drunk which is why a lot of the time I just went to Dudley’s draw, a sort of hippy type hangout, where you could get a cheap pitcher of beer to hangout with you all evening long. Keep in mind I was a college student and I did have a limited budget.
After college I began at the bottom of the work ladder and my main hangout was Bennigan’s. Now yes, Bennigan’s is a lame place but is a Budweiser really going to taste that much better at a hot night club than at a family eating place? The one other thing I can say about Bennigan’s is that they had a beer contest. Who could try 100 different beers in the shortest amount of time. You had to try 100 different beers from around the world.
They limited you to 3 beers per visit. After about 70 beers it all begins to taste the same. Sapporo is somewhat like Tsing Tao which tastes like Heineken, which is sort of like Michelob which leads to Millers which blends over to Bud.
Ugh.
I was sick of the taste but I was going every day, and I just missed being the first one by like 2 days.
I got sick of beer after that. I still will take a beer from time to time but mostly on special occasions. And usually I will stick to something like Guinness which is the only beer that I consider to have a distinct flavor.
I did try some high end places like the Mercury room, which at the time was one of those places to see and be seen, but it was too frenetic and packed. I like to do my drinking in nice quiet dark bars.
I did delve one last time into exotic drink concoctions. A fictional drink found in the novel “The hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, The Pan galactic gargle blaster, is described thusly:
“Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.”
Some fans decided to recreate an earth recipe with vodka, triple sec, schnapps, whiskey and a lime. And I foolishly supplied this to a bartender to make.
Never, ever, ever try the pan galactic gargle blaster.
After the first sip I had a heavy buzz going .. the 2nd the room started spinning, after the 3rd I was sick to my stomach. It took over an hour for my head to clear and I never finished the drink.
After all that I settled on a simple Johnny walker black and coca cola as my signature drink. The sweetness of the coke takes away the harsh edge of the whiskey and really brings out the flavors. I am also learning about wines and the subtle differences. Odd that someone from a wine growing country knows so little about wine.
Some thoughts on popular liquors:
Gin – awful taste, I don’t know why its so popular
Kahlua – who thought that bringing coffee and alcohol together was a good idea?
Bacardi Rum – way overrated
Zima/Smirnoff ice/ Bacardi breezers/hard lemonade – all of these bottled beverages are all the same damn thing. In the end and they’re all just new versions of bartles and james wine coolers really
Exotics
Chicha – this is maize beer. Its made in rural parts of south America mainly in Bolivia or Peru. Basically people chew up the corn and spit it out and let it ferment. Its milky white yellow color and its basically a weak beer. Keep in mind if you’re ever in rural South America its considered an insult to refuse Chicha
Pisco – Chilean wine brandy. Made from particularly sweet grapes, its clear and very strong. Its used to make Pisco Sours (like whiskey sours) or something called Cola del mono (monkey’s tail)
Aguardiente – which means burning water. This is basically sugar cane alcohol, not much different than moonshine
Absinth – or abinsthe. Tried something similar in New Orleans once called refined absinthe. Pale yellow green color sometimes served with a sugar cube. Supposed to be addictive or an aphrodisiac. All it was to me was bad tasting like gin
I don’t really drink anymore and have not for the last 4 or so years. Not for any religious reason or health concerns but mainly because I just don’t draw any particular pleasure from it anymore. I will occasionally take wine with dinner or if a client or business partner asks me out I will go and drink but I don’t go bar hopping like I once did. I just find that there are better ways to spend my time.
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