Category Archives: Goals

Decision trees in our lives

March 2, 2014 6:29 AM , 2 Comments ,

I was going through my newsfeed the other day and a link came up for Huffpost live.  It was a discussion with Crispin Glover on the message that media puts out in some movies.

Interview

First of all I never realized that Crispin Glover was that deep a thinker honestly.  He’s apparently quite perceptive and insightful.  This discussion got me thinking on a different tack about how decisions affect our lives.

(by the way, this is one of the reasons that I love cinema.  You can derive so many themes, ideas, and visions from a movie that it’s astonishing)

In the above movie that Glover references (“Back to the future”) his character, George, makes a bad decision at a young age that affects the rest of his life.  He has been making bad decisions based on fear all of his life but this one really affect him and his future wife.

Basically he allows his future wife to be raped by the neighborhood bully.  This event victimizes both of them and they live in a spiral of hopelessness and shame leading them downwards on a dark path of despair. George takes a menial job and allows his tormentor to continue to harass him.  George and his wife end up trapped living a life that is neither satisfactory nor fulfilling.

George’s son goes back in time and intervenes causing George to make the right decision and this in turn affects the rest of his life.

When the son returns to the altered future he finds that his parents have been emboldened by the correct choice that George made and their life is a success in every way.  The same two people, the same town, but totally altered by one seemingly tiny change in the past.

Plugging all this back into the real world, how have the decisions in our past affected our current life situation?  You make that initial bad decision back in kindergarten and twenty years later you’re working in McDonald’s rather than going to Harvard.

A gross overstatement to be sure but I don’t think that the average young person gives enough weight to these seemingly innocuous life choices.  Go out and party on a Friday night or study, burn through your weekly paycheck or save it, stand up for yourself or let someone else walk over you.

One or two decisions you can probably bounce back from.  But it’s when you make bad decision after bad decision and they pile up on you and suddenly you find that your options aren’t that open anymore.  Suddenly you no longer have a good or bad option, suddenly it’s bad option or even worse option.  What’s more, the more you make these bad decisions the more you become accustomed to the penalties attached to them and even grow to expect them as a part of your daily life.

How do we break this downward trend?  Is it even breakable?

Well yes of course it is.  We can hope for an outside agency to intervene (like someone with a time machine or a crazy millionaire philanthropist willing to invest in you) but that rarely happens.

Most of the time it’s going to happen by making a hard “right” choice some time and following it up with even more hard “right” choices until you climb back to where you want to be in your life.

That’s what makes these early choices on your decision tree so vitally important.  Once you bend that stalk in the wrong direction it takes a mighty effort to turn it back the way it should be going.

Posted in: attitude, decisions, goals, habits, movies

micro goals

January 15, 2014 6:23 AM , 2 Comments ,

I saw one of my Facebook friends remark that all the new year’s resolution people had cleared out of the gym that he goes to.

Natural I suppose as most of those resolutions are half-hearted at best and only made to fulfill peer expectations.  The new year’s resolution is now looked upon by most as a joke.  Most people see it not as something that they will do but rather as something that they will definitely NOT do.

Part of the problem is that people who make these resolutions have no one to keep them honest.  A person to lean on when you feel like backsliding and who will without goading come by and check on your progress.

The other part of why these resolutions fail is that the expectations are set too high.  Rather than breaking this up into manageable chunks, people choose to tackle it all at once.  Anyone can see that approach is doomed to failure.

Setting smaller micro goals can be an aide to this.  Limiting the problem to something that you can reasonably manage can help your state of mind and get you mentally prepared to tackle everything.

Instead of saying “I will lose 60 pounds by the end of the year” you can say “5 pounds this month, that’s not too bad is it?”  Suddenly the whole task isn’t so daunting.

Further to this, when you do reach a micro goal it can really boost morale and self-esteem making you believe that you can indeed manage the rest.

Posted in: goals, habits, plans

On top of your game

January 7, 2014 6:25 AM , Leave a Comment ,

People say that failure is a great teacher.  No doubt about that as long as you survive that failure and then learn from it so you won’t repeat it again.

I can honestly say that I’ve had many lessons taught to me in this way and for most of my life I seem to have achieved many goals in this manner.  I never really have those moments where everything goes perfect or according to plan.  Some little thing goes wrong and suddenly it’s not a great but only a good victory or some medium-sized thing goes wrong and I’m left scrambling trying to keep things from going to hell at the last second.  In its own way it’s satisfying to strive mightily and win out.  You truly earn that victory when that happens.

But then every once in a while…

Whether it’s by repetition and practice or circumstance and timing everything seems to align for you.

The client comes in with a big order, the project is something that you can handle, the process goes smoothly, the outcome is predictable and done on or before the deadline.  No hang ups, no delays, no difficulties.

Everyone is working at peak efficiency and there seems to be a glow or air of infallibility to the whole office.  You go from strength to strength without a single misstep.

How?  How do you get that to happen each time and every time?  Why does it seem as if some organizations seem to have a magical glow about them as if they can do no wrong?  Are they really that good or are they just better at hiding the bad days and promoting the good days?

I’m all for working hard and earning what I get but some days, some days I still yearn for that easy win.

Posted in: business, goals

Now what?

January 5, 2014 7:00 AM , Leave a Comment ,
“You know, a town with money’s a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it, and danged if he knows how to use it!”
―Lyle Lanley from “The Simpsons”

A few weeks back everyone was getting excited about one of the big lotteries.  The sum total had climbed over $600 million and people were in a state of hysteria buying up more and more tickets.

Inevitably on the news channels came the man on the street interviews asking people what they would do with all that money and the answers ranged from “not working ever again” or buying some expensive item or paying off bills.

Good enough for a thirty-second news piece but really have these folks pondered what they would really do with all of that money?  Let’s imagine a winner that gets a modest jackpot of 50 million.

Pay debts – An investing website in September reported that the average American was about a quarter of a million dollars in debt.  A good chunk of this is of course mortgage debt.  That’s all gone with a few strokes of the pen.  bye-bye debts and bye-bye $250,000

Buy things – So of course the average person is going to go on a spending spree and of course hold some parties for his family and friends.  He will no doubt purchase cars, televisions, furniture, clothes, and most certainly one or more properties.  So there goes another 3 to 4 million.

Travel – Jet set around the world and see those places and things you’ve heard about all of your life.  Another million or so.

Invest – So now that you’ve slaked all the urges you can think of, someone (usually a friend or family member) suggests that you invest in something and they usually have a good idea of where to invest and oddly enough it involves them.  So here goes another 5 to 10 million or more.

(A side note, in researching this I found that 44% of all lottery winners spend all their winnings in 5 years or less.  Where does it all go?!?!)

But now what?  You’ve done it all and seen it all but that’s about as far as most people get.  If even that far.  We look at the short-term prize and say to ourselves “wouldn’t that be great if we had that?”  But most people never stop to think and then what?

I think it’s a telling difference between people who earn their money and those that win or inherit their money that the people who earn their money through hard work and planning are able to answer this question.

They’ve obsessed, planned, and strived for their dreams for so long that they know exactly what they need to do next.  Those that suddenly have good fortune dropped on their laps don’t.

But it’s not just money.  Some people dream about being celebrities, some dream about being athletes, some about marrying some attractive person or some other seemingly impossible dream.  But these people never stop and consider or plan on how they get from here to there.

I’m not saying that it’s impossible.  What I am saying though is rather than just dream or lust after some unattainable goal, why not plan and work for it?  And then consider what you will do after you get it.

Posted in: culture, goals, plans, thought